Research found that the first two years of marriage are important periods that determine the future of marriage. The first two years of marriage are touted as a period of high risk of divorce.
No matter how long the dating, when married, the key to success or failure of marriage allegedly lies in the first two years of the formation of the household.
Couples who cannot get past the first 2 years properly are more at risk of having problems in future marital relationships, and it is not impossible to lead to divorce.
Challenges in the First Two Years
The following are various factors that can be both a challenge and a risk in the first two years of marriage:
1. Different views of life
If previously everything was done alone, after marriage, you become part of the lives of others, both legally, socially, and religiously.
This union will then pose a number of challenges, especially if there are differences in views and choices, for example differences in beliefs and religions, ways to take care of finances, or parenting children.
2. Failure to anticipate conflict
There are many important new things that must be faced together, ranging from sharing household tasks, managing finances, dealing with in-laws, learning how to manage conflicts, taking time to have sex, to discuss the goals of life together.
Although important, talking about these things has the potential to cause conflict. That is why many couples end up avoiding or delaying discussing the above. In fact, this delay can actually be more dangerous to married life.
3. Pressured by the couple's family relationship
Marrying a partner means also making you part of your extended family. Some people may feel accepted, but others may feel pressured by new expectations and norms.
4. Loss of intimacy
In one study, it was found that the main cause of divorce was the loss of affection between couples in the first two years of marriage. Closeness with a partner will make each one feel that their partner is the person who can best understand it. If this closeness is lost, marriage will be difficult to survive when faced with problems.
Strengthening the Foundations in the Early Two Years of Marriage
Many people forget that marriage is not just a romantic relationship, but also requires commitment and effort. In the early days of marriage, cooperation between husband and wife is needed to form a solid household foundation.
To keep the household in harmony, the things below can be a guide:
Maintain intimacy
After the honeymoon period is over, some couples may feel a decrease in intimacy. If this is what you feel, don't bury yourself. Talk with your partner about ways to maintain closeness. For example, by scheduling a special time for both of them in between their busy activities.
Establish good communication
The first step to breaking the deadlock is to talk honestly and openly with your partner without blaming each other. Realize that your partner is a unique person and has different views and ways of thinking with you.
You and your partner need to discuss the division of tasks and obligations, and discuss ways to overcome conflicts that you will definitely face in marriage. Avoiding discussing potentially conflicting matters will only delay the problem.
Ask for advice from others
Get advice and information about marriage relationships from good sources, for example by reading a wedding-themed book, asking for advice from parents, or marriage counselors. In addition to helping to resolve conflict, counseling also plays a role in keeping couples focused on keeping each other's feelings positive.
A lasting marriage does not mean that you always have to be happy, you know. Domestic life certainly has its ups and downs and is not free of problems. But with a strong foundation, marriage will remain stable even in difficult times.
So, let's, arrange your relationship in the early marriage to be a solid foundation in facing challenges in the future.
Komentar
Posting Komentar